Author: Brianne Cook
Have you ever felt so excited about an idea, goal, or business venture then come to find out later that it has already been done? Especially when that someone seems to be doing it much better than you ever could? The fear of not measuring up is real. When we see someone living our dream we tend to think that we should have jumped on the idea sooner. Instead of feeling like you have missed out we need to remember that there is room for you too.
When I was building my blog I fought a lot of feelings of inadequacy. I had this vision of sharing my voice and motivating women. It had me on fire with the desire to get this out into the world! Then I found out that EVERYONE has a blog these days, it felt like my dream was so unoriginal. I kept thinking about this one person from my high school that I had not spoken to in forever. In my head, she kept judging me for trying to be someone I am not and that I was "just another mom blogger".
After A LOT of support from my sister, I put those feelings past me and created a phrase for myself. So why does it matter if everyone is making a blog? There is room for you too.
What creates this hesitation to go for it?
Imposter Syndrome
Never heard of it? Imposter Syndrome is defined as feeling inadequate despite being a successful person. You would be worried about being discovered as a fraud. Since you decided to go for something you deem you are not worthy of, you are a fraud. A fraud is someone who deceives people, that is not you! Do not let that stop you from going after your dreams sister!
Feeling ordinary
This one may seem similar to the first but it is an important part to differentiate. I was at a conference where Rachel Hollis spoke and someone said that they felt ordinary. This lady felt that she didn't have anything of value to offer the world because she was not unique. Boy was Rachel upset about that! She went on to point out that there is literally only one of each of us in the entire world so how could we be ordinary? We have each been given talents with the intent to share them! If we allow ourselves to feel ordinary then we are doing ourselves and the ones we love a disservice.
Not want to step on toes
We don't have to step on toes to reach our goals and by existing, we are not inconveniencing anyone. You are not an inconvenience. If anyone has made you feel that way in life, that is their problem they are working on, not yours. We can be kind and reach out to those who have done what you are trying to do. Instead of looking at it as a roadblock, you should view it as a road map. They have tackled all the hard obstacles and figured out what works, use that!
There's room for you too
Everyone needs a good group of friends, I see it all over social media that girl gangs are taking over. Well, it’s a good thing it only takes two to make a group because making friends is HARD. Imposter Syndrome is not only for business ventures or new ideas. We see people who have similar interests and we go crazy-eyed and think FRIEND! Then we keep staring at a distance and never make human contact.
We are worried they will see us in our most vulnerable moment and reject us. Well, guess what? There is room for you too! No one in this world has more friends than they want or need. If you see a group of women hanging out doing something you would also enjoy, there is room for you too! When you are scrolling Facebook and see that someone likes all the same things you do but she already seems to have it all, there is room for you too!
How do we make room for us?
Be the one to just DO IT!
I can guarantee that whoever you are about to go up to wants to be your friend as much as you want to be there friend. My husband and I have moved a lot and it is so hard to find your group in a new place. Mom friends should be the easiest to come by as we are all craving adult conversation, but we get in our way. Take a deep breath mama and go introduce yourself. What is the worst thing that can happen? You ask to be invited and they never do? It has happened to me and I am still here, thriving.
Accept the Failure
If you are okay with failing, going out and reaching for our goals becomes easier. You have already accepted the worst possible outcome so it can only go up from there. Being comfortable enough with yourself to accept failure is tough. Luckily, I was raised by a socks with sandals wearing dad who made sure I knew to be myself no matter how weird that person is. The love my friends had for my dad even though he was so bizarre resonated with me a desire to be who I want to be.
People are rude, deal with it
Okay, maybe I don't need to be that harsh. I will only listen to the opinions of the people who matter to me and are putting themselves out there on a level that I am. For more on putting yourself out there, I would recommend Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
There is room to change
At the end of the day, we all go through hard times where we feel alone. When someone reaches out to you, be kind! If we expect situations to go well for us we better be prepared to accept others. It seems to be so easy to criticize without even realizing it. As we go for something new there will be trial and error and we will fail. If our attempts at friendship and entrepreneurship never work out, we will be okay.
Failure doesn't define us. One action does not define us. We are a compilation of many actions, emotions, desires, and will. If one single action defined me I would forever be embarrassed for peeing my pants in front of my crush at age 12. The wonderful thing is if we keep trying, we keep changing. Change is scary and it feels like only other people change for the better. But, there is room for us to change too.
Wrap it up!
It can be disappointing to find out that someone else out there has the same idea as you and is successful at it. You can let it disappoint you, but you shouldn't let it discourage you. Imposter syndrome can make you feel like a fraud even though you are a successful person mama! Write down all the ways you are successful so you can have that when you are feeling less than. No success is too small.
Comment below with a dream that you have been wanting to go for! I want us to support each other!
About the Author:
“My name is Bree, I grew up in Florida and have since settled down in the midwest! I have recently rediscovered my passion for motivating people and realized I need to grow and shine a light on my talents. Straight Out the Laundry Pile came from my desire to show the world that we can be bold and confident while still having 7 loads of laundry to fold at home. I am a WOM and I love it!”
https://straightoutthelaundrypile.com/